One of the things the two of you did when you first met and started dating was to flirt with each another. Both of you were able to convey your attentions in a playful and romantic way through your flirting with each other. Now that you are married, don’t stop flirt with your spouse. Both of you need to continue to be fluent flirters!
Flirting is a way to be playful with your spouse. An ego booster for both you and your spouse. Flirting with each other helps keep your marriage alive. Flirting is a way to communicate your love to each other. Is a way to remind one another that you are still attracted to each other. Is fun and natural. How do you flirt with your flirt? Here are few tips.
1.Flirting should be spontaneous. Don’t flirt at the same time everyday.
2.Look into your spouse’s eyes. You have to make eye contact to flirt.
3.Coy looks, a glance, a wink, a smile, a pat on your spouse’s arched eyebrow.
4.You can toss your head slightly, squeeze you spouse’s hand or knee, place your
hand in a light touch on your mate’s shoulder or back and give a hug.
5.The tune of your voice, leaning toward your spouse when giving a compliment or a peck on your spouse’s neck can show you care.
6.You know what your “come and get me stance” looks like. Give your spouse that look at an unpredictable time.
7.Wispering, fidgeting with earrings, necklace, necktie, change in your pocket, sitting close together, shyly looking away, leaving a love note for your spouse to find.
8. Send him text massages during the day.
9.Go back to what you were doing when things were hotter between you, the pet names, compliments galore, how you’d dress up and make sure you were looking hot before you got together? Sweatpants.
10.The gestures, stance, eye movement. How you lean forward to the person you’re talking to and the tip up your heels?
11.How about the quick eyebrow you raise, the sidelong glance coupled with the weak smile you give, the slightly gaze you offer?
12.The play, jokes, teasing.
If you are a woman, do you feel your head tilting to the side a bit, exposing either your soft sensuous neck or looking at it another way, your jugular? Scientist call all these little acts “contact- readiness” cues, because they indicate, nonverbal, that you’re prepared for physical engagement. Flirting is much more than just a bit of fun: It is universal and essential aspect of human interaction. Is a basic instinct part of human life. One of the way we flirt is that we can’t help it. Were programmed to do it, whether by biology or culture.
Friday, 20 May 2011
Wednesday, 18 May 2011
10 Tips What Your Wife Wished You Knew About Her.
It is not what you say with your voice and lips that matters most to her, but what she heard you say thereafter with your action. The secret of loving and understanding your wife lies in listening to her “with your eyes as well as your ears.” “Hearing is natural” but listening is hard work. Below are what can help improve the communications between you and your wife, and make for greater understanding and long-lasting love between two of you.
1. Eye Contact
Our eyes communicate things that our words cannot. They show understanding, anger, doubts, joy, sincerity, pain and human emotions. Looking into your wife’s eyes as she talks is a way of letting her know that you value what she says. But when you look away from her or look at the floor while she is talking, you give her the impressions that you are not interested in what she is saying or has to say.
2. Body Posture
Marriage experts counsel men to uncross their arms and to always turn and face their wives whenever they are talking. Doing otherwise may, sometimes, make your wife feel that you are not interested in what she is saying.
3. Body Language
Are the muscles in her neck tightening while she talks? Is she sitting closer or father away from you than she usually does? Is she smiling? Are her shoulders slumping. Your ability or else inability to interpret correctly these signals coming from your wife will show whether you are rightly communicating with her or not.
4. Warning Signs
Some of the warning signs you need to watch out in your relationship with your wife include:
A. Total lack of communications
B. Denial of any problem in the marriage
C. A significant change in behaviour.
This can take the form of radical and quick change in sleeping and eating habits which signify an attempt to cope with something in the marriage that has not been addressed.
5. Cueing Skills
You returned from work and your wife emerges from the bedroom with her shoulders a little slumped and her face looking tired. Marriage expert say that instead of asking her closed question like “ how was your day?” to which she might reply with a one-word answer “fine” while still retaining her bottled-up feelings, look into her eyes an say, ‘tell me about your day.” Doing so will be like opening a door into her world as she is likely to tell you everything that bothered her mind during the day, not for you to get the problems fixed up, but to get the pent-up feelings they generated, off her mind.
6. Minimal Encourager
If you are discussing a serious subject with your wife, small gestures such as an appropriate touch on the arm, hand or shoulder can speak volumes and communicate care and understanding. Nodding your head indicates empathy and concern.
7. Unconditional love
Knowing and accepting your wife doesn’t mean that you have to approve of her behaviour or agree with all of her ideas or suggestions. It means that you choose to love, cherish and treat with implicit respect despite her failings and in spite of any disagreement between you and her.
8.Sympathetic Communication
It has been discovered that men often communicate to solve a problem but woman like to share it with someone they love and trust. When your wife shares difficult issues with you, she may not necessarily want you to fix it for her but to listen and understand and empathize.
9.Sitaution Report
Marriage expert say that most misunderstanding and quarrels in marriage take place when we exaggerate and use inaccurate words to over-illustrate the point we are trying to make. They say that it would amount to distorting the truth to accuse your wife of being in the habit of ‘never helping”, when in truth, she used to help with tasks but had never done so in a long while. Instead of exaggerate the truth and putting your wife on the defensive, it is better to ask her to help you with the task at hand like she did the other day.
10. Encouraging Words.
Choose carefully the words that you speak to your wife. This is because words are powerful, pregnant with meaning and loaded with connotations that connect with the very core of our spirits. A word of praise or confirmation enriches your wife while a word of discouragement can cut down a blossoming intimacy between you and her. So, always speak to your wife words of encouragement, and not criticism.
1. Eye Contact
Our eyes communicate things that our words cannot. They show understanding, anger, doubts, joy, sincerity, pain and human emotions. Looking into your wife’s eyes as she talks is a way of letting her know that you value what she says. But when you look away from her or look at the floor while she is talking, you give her the impressions that you are not interested in what she is saying or has to say.
2. Body Posture
Marriage experts counsel men to uncross their arms and to always turn and face their wives whenever they are talking. Doing otherwise may, sometimes, make your wife feel that you are not interested in what she is saying.
3. Body Language
Are the muscles in her neck tightening while she talks? Is she sitting closer or father away from you than she usually does? Is she smiling? Are her shoulders slumping. Your ability or else inability to interpret correctly these signals coming from your wife will show whether you are rightly communicating with her or not.
4. Warning Signs
Some of the warning signs you need to watch out in your relationship with your wife include:
A. Total lack of communications
B. Denial of any problem in the marriage
C. A significant change in behaviour.
This can take the form of radical and quick change in sleeping and eating habits which signify an attempt to cope with something in the marriage that has not been addressed.
5. Cueing Skills
You returned from work and your wife emerges from the bedroom with her shoulders a little slumped and her face looking tired. Marriage expert say that instead of asking her closed question like “ how was your day?” to which she might reply with a one-word answer “fine” while still retaining her bottled-up feelings, look into her eyes an say, ‘tell me about your day.” Doing so will be like opening a door into her world as she is likely to tell you everything that bothered her mind during the day, not for you to get the problems fixed up, but to get the pent-up feelings they generated, off her mind.
6. Minimal Encourager
If you are discussing a serious subject with your wife, small gestures such as an appropriate touch on the arm, hand or shoulder can speak volumes and communicate care and understanding. Nodding your head indicates empathy and concern.
7. Unconditional love
Knowing and accepting your wife doesn’t mean that you have to approve of her behaviour or agree with all of her ideas or suggestions. It means that you choose to love, cherish and treat with implicit respect despite her failings and in spite of any disagreement between you and her.
8.Sympathetic Communication
It has been discovered that men often communicate to solve a problem but woman like to share it with someone they love and trust. When your wife shares difficult issues with you, she may not necessarily want you to fix it for her but to listen and understand and empathize.
9.Sitaution Report
Marriage expert say that most misunderstanding and quarrels in marriage take place when we exaggerate and use inaccurate words to over-illustrate the point we are trying to make. They say that it would amount to distorting the truth to accuse your wife of being in the habit of ‘never helping”, when in truth, she used to help with tasks but had never done so in a long while. Instead of exaggerate the truth and putting your wife on the defensive, it is better to ask her to help you with the task at hand like she did the other day.
10. Encouraging Words.
Choose carefully the words that you speak to your wife. This is because words are powerful, pregnant with meaning and loaded with connotations that connect with the very core of our spirits. A word of praise or confirmation enriches your wife while a word of discouragement can cut down a blossoming intimacy between you and her. So, always speak to your wife words of encouragement, and not criticism.
Tuesday, 10 May 2011
10 Steps To Planning Your Honeymoon
HONEYMOON:COUPLE'S ADVENTURE
There are two things a couple who have decided to tie the knot must take seriously. The first is the wedding day and next is the honeymoon. Often taken for granted. The honeymoon is a very important stage in a couple’s lives. This is the traditional trip taken by newlyweds to celebrate their marriage in seclusion and sexual intimacy. Pay attention to the following ten steps.
1.Time
How much time have you got to spend on your honeymoon? The average time for an honeymoon is about a week but you can have a honeymoon ranging from a weekend to a month? The amount of time spent together we determine the destination you both can go to. However short or long your honeymoon is, it should be about the TWO of you and no distractions allowed.
2.Style
Are you both laid back and romantic? Can you spend a week all alone on a uninhabited island? Without TV and the Internet, just the two of you! Or you prefer a fun-filled, adventure-like, fastspaced honeymoon? Your style also determines what kind of accommodation you’d go for, an ocean view or water bungalow?
3.Budget
Everyone want a perfect honeymoon in paradise, your budget will determine where you can go to, except if you use a honeymoon registry to reduce your expenses. The good news is there is always a honeymoon for everyone .A good honeymoon package covers travel, accommodation, return transfers to and from the hotel and some meals. Always ask for details of what your package includes and budget for a few sundry issues and tips.
4.Sights
If your idea of a honeymoon is lying on the beach and playing in the azure waters, have your honeymoon in the Seychelles or Maldives. But if you prefer the adventure of wild game safaris or historical museums, do Johannesburg. Remember to find out before you travel as much as you can on the destinations so you know your choices of excursions.
5. Visas and health requirements
Remember to find out what the requirements are for the passport you are carrying, especially if you have dual citizenship. Should the destination you choose require a visa, ask about the processing time and give room for any delays.
6.The Night Before
I do not want to advise you as to what to do with your first night together. And I don’t want you to tell me either, lets call it CLASSIFIED! Check into a hotel very close to the airport and save any stress of waking up very early to catch your flight.
7.The honeymoon Consultant
Get a creative honeymoon consultant. Like an event planner, who you entrust the planning of your honeymoon and who could determine the magic or lull of the honeymoon.
8.Luggage
No matter the destination of your honeymoon, you will need a good suitcase to carry your stuff with you. Invest in strong and durable travel bags, ones that comes with rollers that are easily to handle. Also, check the weight limit if your flying or budget for extra baggage fees for any excesses.
9.Treats
Spa. Massages. A dinner cruise. Treat yourselves to something special. And you could learn a one or two massages when you get home.
10.Music
Music is the most potent love weapon, cupid’s arrow if you like. The food of love. Imagine waking the love of your life up to sumptuous breakfast (delivered by your resort of course) with Jaheim’s “Today’s special day for you” playing in the background.
There are two things a couple who have decided to tie the knot must take seriously. The first is the wedding day and next is the honeymoon. Often taken for granted. The honeymoon is a very important stage in a couple’s lives. This is the traditional trip taken by newlyweds to celebrate their marriage in seclusion and sexual intimacy. Pay attention to the following ten steps.
1.Time
How much time have you got to spend on your honeymoon? The average time for an honeymoon is about a week but you can have a honeymoon ranging from a weekend to a month? The amount of time spent together we determine the destination you both can go to. However short or long your honeymoon is, it should be about the TWO of you and no distractions allowed.
2.Style
Are you both laid back and romantic? Can you spend a week all alone on a uninhabited island? Without TV and the Internet, just the two of you! Or you prefer a fun-filled, adventure-like, fastspaced honeymoon? Your style also determines what kind of accommodation you’d go for, an ocean view or water bungalow?
3.Budget
Everyone want a perfect honeymoon in paradise, your budget will determine where you can go to, except if you use a honeymoon registry to reduce your expenses. The good news is there is always a honeymoon for everyone .A good honeymoon package covers travel, accommodation, return transfers to and from the hotel and some meals. Always ask for details of what your package includes and budget for a few sundry issues and tips.
4.Sights
If your idea of a honeymoon is lying on the beach and playing in the azure waters, have your honeymoon in the Seychelles or Maldives. But if you prefer the adventure of wild game safaris or historical museums, do Johannesburg. Remember to find out before you travel as much as you can on the destinations so you know your choices of excursions.
5. Visas and health requirements
Remember to find out what the requirements are for the passport you are carrying, especially if you have dual citizenship. Should the destination you choose require a visa, ask about the processing time and give room for any delays.
6.The Night Before
I do not want to advise you as to what to do with your first night together. And I don’t want you to tell me either, lets call it CLASSIFIED! Check into a hotel very close to the airport and save any stress of waking up very early to catch your flight.
7.The honeymoon Consultant
Get a creative honeymoon consultant. Like an event planner, who you entrust the planning of your honeymoon and who could determine the magic or lull of the honeymoon.
8.Luggage
No matter the destination of your honeymoon, you will need a good suitcase to carry your stuff with you. Invest in strong and durable travel bags, ones that comes with rollers that are easily to handle. Also, check the weight limit if your flying or budget for extra baggage fees for any excesses.
9.Treats
Spa. Massages. A dinner cruise. Treat yourselves to something special. And you could learn a one or two massages when you get home.
10.Music
Music is the most potent love weapon, cupid’s arrow if you like. The food of love. Imagine waking the love of your life up to sumptuous breakfast (delivered by your resort of course) with Jaheim’s “Today’s special day for you” playing in the background.
The JOY Of being a WIFE
THE HOMEMAKER
A home is the laugh of a baby, the song of a mother, the strength of a father,
warmth of loving hearts, light from happy eyes, kindness, loyalty and comradeship. Home is the first school and fist church for young ones. It is where they first learn what is right, what is good, and what is kind. Where they go for comfort when they are hurt or sick. Where joy is shared and sorrow eased. Where fathers and mothers are respected and loved. Where money is not so important as loving kindness. Where even the tea kettle sings from happiness. That is home. God bless it.
The person who, to a large extent, makes the home this beautiful, is the wife. Her role is divine assignment. The day a woman ties the nuptial knot, she becomes a “helpmate”. That word carried a lot of responsibilities which must be attended by every woman to experience the joy of being a woman. These roles are:
1. Reverence, love and honour for the husband
“Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husband that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives. Even as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement” (1 Peter 3:16).
2.Keping and managing the home
“That they may teach the young woman to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, Chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husband, that the word of God be not blesphamed”.
3.Submission
“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husband, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body”.(Ephesians 5:22-23)
4.Hospitality
“And she said unto her husband, behold now, I perceive that this is an holy man of God, which passeth by us continually. Let us make a little chamber, I pray thee, on the wall: and let us set for him there a bed, and a table, and a stool, and a candlestick: and it shall be when he cometh to us, that he shall turn in thither.”(2 kings 4:9-10)
5.Persnal Grooming
“She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple”(Proverbs
31:22)
So, what are the joy of being a wife?
A.The greetest thrill for a wife is the joy of the Lord in the heart. A wife who does her duties, trusting and depending on God, has an inner joy that cannot be taken away from her, not even the storms of life.
B.There is the thrill of seeing her husband growing spiritually and succeeding in ministry and secular endeavours. The Bible tells us that the husband of the virtuous woman was know at the gates(Proverbs31:23).
C.The joy of watching the children grow into responsible adults.
D.The joy of family laughing together, playing together and standing together especially in crisis.
E.The joy of watching her husband enjoy the meals she prepared him and receiving compliments for good cooking: the children guzzling their food and asking for more.
F.Another is “Thank you mummy” from the children. This show of appreciation for a mother’s care gladdens the heart of a wife.
There is so much joy in being a virtuous wife. If you would rely on the saviour as you gladly do the duties of the virtuous wife, your home will be haven of bliss and your joy will know no bounds.
A home is the laugh of a baby, the song of a mother, the strength of a father,
warmth of loving hearts, light from happy eyes, kindness, loyalty and comradeship. Home is the first school and fist church for young ones. It is where they first learn what is right, what is good, and what is kind. Where they go for comfort when they are hurt or sick. Where joy is shared and sorrow eased. Where fathers and mothers are respected and loved. Where money is not so important as loving kindness. Where even the tea kettle sings from happiness. That is home. God bless it.
The person who, to a large extent, makes the home this beautiful, is the wife. Her role is divine assignment. The day a woman ties the nuptial knot, she becomes a “helpmate”. That word carried a lot of responsibilities which must be attended by every woman to experience the joy of being a woman. These roles are:
1. Reverence, love and honour for the husband
“Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husband that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives. Even as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement” (1 Peter 3:16).
2.Keping and managing the home
“That they may teach the young woman to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, Chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husband, that the word of God be not blesphamed”.
3.Submission
“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husband, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body”.(Ephesians 5:22-23)
4.Hospitality
“And she said unto her husband, behold now, I perceive that this is an holy man of God, which passeth by us continually. Let us make a little chamber, I pray thee, on the wall: and let us set for him there a bed, and a table, and a stool, and a candlestick: and it shall be when he cometh to us, that he shall turn in thither.”(2 kings 4:9-10)
5.Persnal Grooming
“She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple”(Proverbs
31:22)
So, what are the joy of being a wife?
A.The greetest thrill for a wife is the joy of the Lord in the heart. A wife who does her duties, trusting and depending on God, has an inner joy that cannot be taken away from her, not even the storms of life.
B.There is the thrill of seeing her husband growing spiritually and succeeding in ministry and secular endeavours. The Bible tells us that the husband of the virtuous woman was know at the gates(Proverbs31:23).
C.The joy of watching the children grow into responsible adults.
D.The joy of family laughing together, playing together and standing together especially in crisis.
E.The joy of watching her husband enjoy the meals she prepared him and receiving compliments for good cooking: the children guzzling their food and asking for more.
F.Another is “Thank you mummy” from the children. This show of appreciation for a mother’s care gladdens the heart of a wife.
There is so much joy in being a virtuous wife. If you would rely on the saviour as you gladly do the duties of the virtuous wife, your home will be haven of bliss and your joy will know no bounds.
Friday, 6 May 2011
HOW TO SOLVE PERSONAL PROBLEMS IN MARRIAGE
Now I wish to give ten techniques to use generally to solve your problem:
…Believe for every problem there is a solution.
…Keep calm. Tension blocks the flow of thought power.
…Don’t try to force an answer. Keep your mind and body relaxed.
…Assemble all the facts impartially,impersonally and judicially.
…List these fact on paper. These we clarifies your thinking bringing it’s element into orderly system.The problem becomes objective not subjective.
…Pray about your problem, affirming that God can flash illumination into your mind.
…Believe and seek God guidance on the promise in psalm 73rd.
…Trust in the faculty of insight and intuition.
…Go to worship and let your subconscious work on the problem as you attune to the mood of worship. Creative spiritual thinking has amazing power to give right answer.
…If you follow these techniques faithfully, then the answer that develops in your mind or comes to pass is the right answer to your problem.
…Believe for every problem there is a solution.
…Keep calm. Tension blocks the flow of thought power.
…Don’t try to force an answer. Keep your mind and body relaxed.
…Assemble all the facts impartially,impersonally and judicially.
…List these fact on paper. These we clarifies your thinking bringing it’s element into orderly system.The problem becomes objective not subjective.
…Pray about your problem, affirming that God can flash illumination into your mind.
…Believe and seek God guidance on the promise in psalm 73rd.
…Trust in the faculty of insight and intuition.
…Go to worship and let your subconscious work on the problem as you attune to the mood of worship. Creative spiritual thinking has amazing power to give right answer.
…If you follow these techniques faithfully, then the answer that develops in your mind or comes to pass is the right answer to your problem.
Thursday, 5 May 2011
Wedding Advice For The Married And Newly wed
WEDDING ADVICE…
1. Duck and weave.
2. Keep your feet warm.
3. Don’t leave hair in the sink.
4. Don’t clear your throat or spit in front of your mate.
5. Never eat breakfast in rollers.
Give your wife all the credit…just make sure you keep the cash.
They can help guard your marriage against the barrage of divisions, distractions, and temptations that you and your husband face, no doubt, on daily basis.
Guard your thoughts and words:
Make a conscious effort to wield your words and thought’s as tools to protect and fortify your marriage and your husband, rather that destroy and tear down. Our thought determine our attitudes and actions. Words do hurt.
Undergrid your marriage with prayer:
Couples that pray together stay together. Pray with your spouse. Pray for your spouse. Pray for a strong and godly marriage. I promise you that your prayers will be heard. How can I say that? According to 1 john5: 14-15: “this is the assurance we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us, whatever we ask, we know that have what we asked of him”.
Assess your marriage frequently:
There are few guarantees in life, but one of them is that from time to time you and your husband are going to drift apart on the sea of love. How can you tell when these happens? Well you might be drifting when you plan a dinner party for your closest friends and discover you’ve forgotten to invite your spouse. Or when you turn on the radio, hear the first few bars of “you’ve lost that loving feeling,” and catch yourself saying, “hey, honey! They’re playing our song!” Or when your anniversary rolls around and both of you forget. What are the symptoms clue?Emotions,isolated,stressed
Out,distracted,maintaining separate bedtimes,illness,work,familiarity,
Boredom, children.. The key is in knowing what to do when it happens.
Relinquish small hurts:
Misunderstanding, hurt feelings, insensitive remarks or actions are inevitable. How can we avoid small hurts and wounds? Below are sampling.
1.Learn how to see the humor in life.
2.If I’m hurt I tell myself to forget it and go on.
3.Approaching your spouse asking him if there’s anything I’ve done, knowingly or diminished in some way.
4.No marriage is perfect. No individual is perfect.
5.Let resentment build in silence.
Defy the odds:
Out of a dozens married couples, four end up in divorce lawyer, six stay together without love for the sake of children, careers, religion belief and only two couples enjoy an intimate and happy marriage life. We can defy the odds. All we desire in our marriages are emotional intimacy, soul-to-soul bonding, companionship, romance and …admit it. Non of these things happen by accident. It takes two for marriage to work and only one for it to collapse. Fight for your marriage.
1. Duck and weave.
2. Keep your feet warm.
3. Don’t leave hair in the sink.
4. Don’t clear your throat or spit in front of your mate.
5. Never eat breakfast in rollers.
Give your wife all the credit…just make sure you keep the cash.
They can help guard your marriage against the barrage of divisions, distractions, and temptations that you and your husband face, no doubt, on daily basis.
Guard your thoughts and words:
Make a conscious effort to wield your words and thought’s as tools to protect and fortify your marriage and your husband, rather that destroy and tear down. Our thought determine our attitudes and actions. Words do hurt.
Undergrid your marriage with prayer:
Couples that pray together stay together. Pray with your spouse. Pray for your spouse. Pray for a strong and godly marriage. I promise you that your prayers will be heard. How can I say that? According to 1 john5: 14-15: “this is the assurance we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us, whatever we ask, we know that have what we asked of him”.
Assess your marriage frequently:
There are few guarantees in life, but one of them is that from time to time you and your husband are going to drift apart on the sea of love. How can you tell when these happens? Well you might be drifting when you plan a dinner party for your closest friends and discover you’ve forgotten to invite your spouse. Or when you turn on the radio, hear the first few bars of “you’ve lost that loving feeling,” and catch yourself saying, “hey, honey! They’re playing our song!” Or when your anniversary rolls around and both of you forget. What are the symptoms clue?Emotions,isolated,stressed
Out,distracted,maintaining separate bedtimes,illness,work,familiarity,
Boredom, children.. The key is in knowing what to do when it happens.
Relinquish small hurts:
Misunderstanding, hurt feelings, insensitive remarks or actions are inevitable. How can we avoid small hurts and wounds? Below are sampling.
1.Learn how to see the humor in life.
2.If I’m hurt I tell myself to forget it and go on.
3.Approaching your spouse asking him if there’s anything I’ve done, knowingly or diminished in some way.
4.No marriage is perfect. No individual is perfect.
5.Let resentment build in silence.
Defy the odds:
Out of a dozens married couples, four end up in divorce lawyer, six stay together without love for the sake of children, careers, religion belief and only two couples enjoy an intimate and happy marriage life. We can defy the odds. All we desire in our marriages are emotional intimacy, soul-to-soul bonding, companionship, romance and …admit it. Non of these things happen by accident. It takes two for marriage to work and only one for it to collapse. Fight for your marriage.
Wednesday, 4 May 2011
Money and Marriage
MONEY! MONEY!! MONEY!!!
Money! Think of any struggle across the world: money it is! Money is the monster behind the prevalent evils of our time. Like the octopus, its tentacles are spread into every fabric of human society, recklessly wriggling its corrupting fangs. Money occupies a vital position in the family, and it is considered one of the strongest factors of a radiant marriage. Yet it is not a real source of happiness as it has many marriages asunder. It has no intrinsic value. Its value is in the number of goods and services it can buy to meet man’s needs. It must be seen as just a means to an end.
QUOTABLE
QUOTES
Money is a universal passport to everywhere except heaven, and a universe provider of everything except happiness.
-Anonymous
A married couple usually works out a budget together and then breaks it separately.
-Anonymous
Money can build a house but it takes love to make it a home.
-Anonymous
Love is oceans of emotion surround expenses of expenses.
-E.C.Mckenzie
He that serves God for money will serve the devil for bigger wages.
-Sir Roger L’Eestrange
The desire to have money at all cost dominates the thinking of many people today. The ambition of money keeps men and woman outside the home and consequently, robs the family of the love, time and care they need.
Dear reader, determine your needs and restrain your wants. Make the most of what you have and don’t focus on what you don’t have.
Did you Know that…
A. He has his money best spent who has the best wife. The husband may earn money, but only the wife can save it.
B. A thrifty housewife is better than a great income.
C. A well- matched couple carry a joyful life between them, as the two spies carried the cluster of Eshcol.
D. A good wife and health are man’s best wealth.
What are the realities of financial management?
1. Mismanagement of our income will make us to constantly be in need.
2. Lack of agreement on how family funds should be disbursed often leads to conflicts in the home.
3. Selfish spending on personal needs and careless spending on relatives drains the home of needed care.
4. Covetousness and indulgence leads to poverty in the family.
5. Readiness to work to support the financial income of the home will go a long way t to keep the family from having crisis.
6. Absence of family budget leads to uncontrolled spending, unplanned expenditures and squandering.
7. Tithe paying, giving to others and contributing to God’s work is the secret of overcoming the devourer as revealed in Malachi 3:10-12 and Proverbs 28:27.
TREASURE
CHEST.
TRUE LOVE
NEVER GIVES UP. At the time the war broke out, a young man in Brooklyn was engaged to be married to a young lady in New England, but the marriage was postponed. He was very fortunate in battle after battle, until the battle of the wilderness took place, just before the war was over. The young lady was counting the days at the end of which he would return. She waited for letters but none came. At last, she received one addressed in a strange handwriting, and it read something like this- “There has been another terrible battle. I have been unfortunate this time: I have lost both arms. I cannot write myself, but a comrade is writing this letter for me…to tell you that you are as dear to me as ever: but I shall now be dependent upon other people for the rest of my days, and I have this letter written to release you from your engagement.”
By the next train, she went clear down to the scene of the late conflict and sent word to the captain what her errand was, and got the number of the soldier’s cot. She went along the line, and the moment her eyes fell upon that number, she threw her arms round that young man’s neck and kissed him. “ I will never give you up” she said.” These hands will never give you up: I will take care of you.”
Couples who see the acquisition of money as the most vital segment of their lives together or even the use of it, as the central pivot around which their marriage should revolve, will not be able to get far with the union. If money will not turn to a menace in any marriage, the couple must see cash as their servant, not their master. When values are in conflict, however the affair may be in tension: poor struggle and mutual criticism usually prevail.
The key to money and marriage is ACCESSIBILTY,
ALLOCATION OF FUNDS AND ACCUMULATION.
Tuesday, 3 May 2011
How to build a strong Marriage
Strategies for a Strong Marriage.
Are you faithful by design…or by Default? Fidelity and commitment in marriage are too foundational to be left to chance. I believe marriages can be safeguarded and that there are strategies and techniques we can arm ourselves before temptation strikes that will protect our marriages against dangerous liaisons. Below are suggestions for couples determined to affair- proof their marriages.
1. Accept that You’re Not Immune, and Neither Is Your Husband. We all think, it could never happen to me. And then all of a sudden Satan says, ‘oh yeah?’ Satan is alive and well, so we’d better wake up. We are vulnerable”.
2. Don’t Neglect Sexual Relations. By making a commitment to keep your love life consistent, intimate, and exciting, you and your husband will be nurturing one of the bonds that can keep you connected and focused on each other, even in the face of the myriad distractions and temptation.
3. Seek Professional Help for Unresolved Hurts No Matter How Small They Seem. Not all hurts between a husband and wife could be resolved by conversation, negotiation, time, and prayer. Getting help quickly can be the key to keeping molehills from turning into Mt. Everest and creating a barrier that will leave you and your husband isolated from each other and vulnerable to temptation. Unresolved conflicts can be the prologue to a tragic tale of adultery and divorce.
4. Practice Accountability. Accountability with your wife or husband is the resources both of you need to safeguard your marriage. Be open, confide in your husband or a trusted friend who will give you godly counsel and hold you accountable to remain pure in thought and deed.
5. Douse Temptations before They Flare into Sin. Used the knowledge of the word of God to put a stop to Satan’s temptation. Memorize a small arsenal of verses with which to combat temptation. Remember Joseph Genesis 39:7-11. If you are in a tempting situations, remove yourself ASAP. Get out of the car. Leave the room. Hang up the phone. Change churches. Quit your job. Find new friends. Woe to that man or woman who expects that he or she can play with fire and not walk away blistered and scared.
6. Guard Your Thoughts. It begins in your thoughts and moves from there. Pornography, romance novels, many X-rated movies, sexual fantasies about other people and even tabloid talk show can encourage our minds to cross thresholds that will weaken our resolve in the face of temptation.
7. Watch for Warning Signs. Don’t let unguarded fantasies trace dangerous paths for your actions to follow. Both husband and wives should follow these warning signs:
a. Do you find yourself making special strips past the desk of a coworker or going out of your way to put yourself in the path of someone interesting at church or among your circle of friends.
b. Have you taken new interest in what you wear or how you look?
c. Is there a friend or coworker who make you fell sixteen again?
d. Are your thoughts drawn repeatedly to someone other than your spouse?
e. Do you find yourself looking forward to meetings or events where a certain person will be in attendance?
f. In conversation with family, friends or spouse, how do you talk about the persons to whom you’re attracted?
g. When you talk about the person, do you find yourself mentally justifying the relationships with phrases like, “we’re just friends…”?
h. Has your prayer life gone cold?
i. Do you dread intimate conversations with godly friends who might suspect something and seek to hold you accountable?
j. What about music? Do sexy lyrics or melancholy love songs hold a new fascination? Do they pose a backdrop for new feelings of sensuality or thought of someone other that your spouse?
8. Respect Wise Boundaries. Use wisdom in making choices and pursuing outside friendship.
9. Practice Communication without Accusations. Talk openly and calmly about your issues.
10. Extricate Yourself from Questionable Relationships. When in doubt, drop the friendship. Our first responsibilities are to our marriages; better to err on their behalf than flirt with demolition of our very homes.
11. Pursue Spiritual and Moral Development by maintaining frequent communication with God through prayer time.
b. Stay in contact with godly friends who can encourage you through their words.
c. Renew your heart and mind by reading and studying the Bible.
d. Stretch your threshold of integrity through involvement with small groups and accountability partnership.
e. Attend retreats, conferences and workshop related to topics in marriage, integrity, or spiritual growth.
The tough news is that practicing fidelity and commitment requires a vigilant investment of attention. The good news is that the reward are incalculable in their worth. Protecting your marriage begins today, before temptation ever strikes.
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