It is not what you say with your voice and lips that matters most to her, but what she heard you say thereafter with your action. The secret of loving and understanding your wife lies in listening to her “with your eyes as well as your ears.” “Hearing is natural” but listening is hard work. Below are what can help improve the communications between you and your wife, and make for greater understanding and long-lasting love between two of you.
1. Eye Contact
Our eyes communicate things that our words cannot. They show understanding, anger, doubts, joy, sincerity, pain and human emotions. Looking into your wife’s eyes as she talks is a way of letting her know that you value what she says. But when you look away from her or look at the floor while she is talking, you give her the impressions that you are not interested in what she is saying or has to say.
2. Body Posture
Marriage experts counsel men to uncross their arms and to always turn and face their wives whenever they are talking. Doing otherwise may, sometimes, make your wife feel that you are not interested in what she is saying.
3. Body Language
Are the muscles in her neck tightening while she talks? Is she sitting closer or father away from you than she usually does? Is she smiling? Are her shoulders slumping. Your ability or else inability to interpret correctly these signals coming from your wife will show whether you are rightly communicating with her or not.
4. Warning Signs
Some of the warning signs you need to watch out in your relationship with your wife include:
A. Total lack of communications
B. Denial of any problem in the marriage
C. A significant change in behaviour.
This can take the form of radical and quick change in sleeping and eating habits which signify an attempt to cope with something in the marriage that has not been addressed.
5. Cueing Skills
You returned from work and your wife emerges from the bedroom with her shoulders a little slumped and her face looking tired. Marriage expert say that instead of asking her closed question like “ how was your day?” to which she might reply with a one-word answer “fine” while still retaining her bottled-up feelings, look into her eyes an say, ‘tell me about your day.” Doing so will be like opening a door into her world as she is likely to tell you everything that bothered her mind during the day, not for you to get the problems fixed up, but to get the pent-up feelings they generated, off her mind.
6. Minimal Encourager
If you are discussing a serious subject with your wife, small gestures such as an appropriate touch on the arm, hand or shoulder can speak volumes and communicate care and understanding. Nodding your head indicates empathy and concern.
7. Unconditional love
Knowing and accepting your wife doesn’t mean that you have to approve of her behaviour or agree with all of her ideas or suggestions. It means that you choose to love, cherish and treat with implicit respect despite her failings and in spite of any disagreement between you and her.
8.Sympathetic Communication
It has been discovered that men often communicate to solve a problem but woman like to share it with someone they love and trust. When your wife shares difficult issues with you, she may not necessarily want you to fix it for her but to listen and understand and empathize.
9.Sitaution Report
Marriage expert say that most misunderstanding and quarrels in marriage take place when we exaggerate and use inaccurate words to over-illustrate the point we are trying to make. They say that it would amount to distorting the truth to accuse your wife of being in the habit of ‘never helping”, when in truth, she used to help with tasks but had never done so in a long while. Instead of exaggerate the truth and putting your wife on the defensive, it is better to ask her to help you with the task at hand like she did the other day.
10. Encouraging Words.
Choose carefully the words that you speak to your wife. This is because words are powerful, pregnant with meaning and loaded with connotations that connect with the very core of our spirits. A word of praise or confirmation enriches your wife while a word of discouragement can cut down a blossoming intimacy between you and her. So, always speak to your wife words of encouragement, and not criticism.
No comments:
Post a Comment