Strategies for a Strong Marriage.
Are you faithful by design…or by Default? Fidelity and commitment in marriage are too foundational to be left to chance. I believe marriages can be safeguarded and that there are strategies and techniques we can arm ourselves before temptation strikes that will protect our marriages against dangerous liaisons. Below are suggestions for couples determined to affair- proof their marriages.
1. Accept that You’re Not Immune, and Neither Is Your Husband. We all think, it could never happen to me. And then all of a sudden Satan says, ‘oh yeah?’ Satan is alive and well, so we’d better wake up. We are vulnerable”.
2. Don’t Neglect Sexual Relations. By making a commitment to keep your love life consistent, intimate, and exciting, you and your husband will be nurturing one of the bonds that can keep you connected and focused on each other, even in the face of the myriad distractions and temptation.
3. Seek Professional Help for Unresolved Hurts No Matter How Small They Seem. Not all hurts between a husband and wife could be resolved by conversation, negotiation, time, and prayer. Getting help quickly can be the key to keeping molehills from turning into Mt. Everest and creating a barrier that will leave you and your husband isolated from each other and vulnerable to temptation. Unresolved conflicts can be the prologue to a tragic tale of adultery and divorce.
4. Practice Accountability. Accountability with your wife or husband is the resources both of you need to safeguard your marriage. Be open, confide in your husband or a trusted friend who will give you godly counsel and hold you accountable to remain pure in thought and deed.
5. Douse Temptations before They Flare into Sin. Used the knowledge of the word of God to put a stop to Satan’s temptation. Memorize a small arsenal of verses with which to combat temptation. Remember Joseph Genesis 39:7-11. If you are in a tempting situations, remove yourself ASAP. Get out of the car. Leave the room. Hang up the phone. Change churches. Quit your job. Find new friends. Woe to that man or woman who expects that he or she can play with fire and not walk away blistered and scared.
6. Guard Your Thoughts. It begins in your thoughts and moves from there. Pornography, romance novels, many X-rated movies, sexual fantasies about other people and even tabloid talk show can encourage our minds to cross thresholds that will weaken our resolve in the face of temptation.
7. Watch for Warning Signs. Don’t let unguarded fantasies trace dangerous paths for your actions to follow. Both husband and wives should follow these warning signs:
a. Do you find yourself making special strips past the desk of a coworker or going out of your way to put yourself in the path of someone interesting at church or among your circle of friends.
b. Have you taken new interest in what you wear or how you look?
c. Is there a friend or coworker who make you fell sixteen again?
d. Are your thoughts drawn repeatedly to someone other than your spouse?
e. Do you find yourself looking forward to meetings or events where a certain person will be in attendance?
f. In conversation with family, friends or spouse, how do you talk about the persons to whom you’re attracted?
g. When you talk about the person, do you find yourself mentally justifying the relationships with phrases like, “we’re just friends…”?
h. Has your prayer life gone cold?
i. Do you dread intimate conversations with godly friends who might suspect something and seek to hold you accountable?
j. What about music? Do sexy lyrics or melancholy love songs hold a new fascination? Do they pose a backdrop for new feelings of sensuality or thought of someone other that your spouse?
8. Respect Wise Boundaries. Use wisdom in making choices and pursuing outside friendship.
9. Practice Communication without Accusations. Talk openly and calmly about your issues.
10. Extricate Yourself from Questionable Relationships. When in doubt, drop the friendship. Our first responsibilities are to our marriages; better to err on their behalf than flirt with demolition of our very homes.
11. Pursue Spiritual and Moral Development by maintaining frequent communication with God through prayer time.
b. Stay in contact with godly friends who can encourage you through their words.
c. Renew your heart and mind by reading and studying the Bible.
d. Stretch your threshold of integrity through involvement with small groups and accountability partnership.
e. Attend retreats, conferences and workshop related to topics in marriage, integrity, or spiritual growth.
The tough news is that practicing fidelity and commitment requires a vigilant investment of attention. The good news is that the reward are incalculable in their worth. Protecting your marriage begins today, before temptation ever strikes.
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