Sexual compatibility may be inherent in marriage, taking these steps will increase sexual connection and enjoyment. Just because a couple gets married doesn’t mean they will magically be on the same page sexually. How is the sexual compatibility in your marriage? It’s great!
Sexual incompatibility in desired frequency, variety, and the priority given the intimate relationship are some of the common challenges couple face in marriage. It’s not uncommon for there to be some degree of sexual incompatibility to be worked through in marriage. In fact, it’s part of the adventure.
Sexual incompatibility is a normal and natural part of marriage given the different sexual wiring of men and woman, and the unique difference and desires of every individual. Sexual incompatibility is the inability of one or both spouses to understand each other sexually, to make some necessary changes, and then work with or adapt to each other’s differences.
This incompatibility often manifest itself in a husband and wife’s desires regarding frequency, variety, and the degree of emotional engagement they invest in the sexual relationship. It also affects the level of interest and the importance placed on the sexual dimension of marriage. The cool thing is that sexual incompatibility can be diminished as couples work through their differences, and together build their intimate relationship. It’s not the couple’s differences but what they do with them that really matters.
Sexual compatibility is a learned behavior; it’s something that comes with time, effort and lots of practice within the unique relationship of marriage. It’s not something you can “test” for by taking someone for a tial run. Furthermore, a sexual relationship outside of marriage is not an accurate indicator of what the sexual relationship will be within the context of marriage anyway.
Marriage is uniquely designed as a relationship of commitment, heart, mind, body and soul. It presupposes total allegiance to each other with all aspiration and dimensions of life interwoven together. Marriage is a surprise grab bag.
You never really know what you’re going to get. Even with it surprises, marriage provides the opportunity and responsibility for husbands and wives to learn and grow together sexually, as they invest themselves in developing this important dimension of marriage.
Developing patience, charity and understanding for each other may be what the sexual incompatibility in marriage is all about anyway. It’s hard to imagine a greater motivator for couples to develop such characteristics than struggling through sexual incompatibilities. Even though couples may need to expect a learning curve in marriage thee is hope that couples can create a mutually fulfilling, passionate and intimately connected relationship.
Be educated, and be able to discuss sexual issues and preferences to make some potentially challenging personal adjustments to diminish the sexual incompatibilities often found between a husband and wife. By accepting the fact that some sexual incompatibility may be inevitable in marriage, we can shift our energies from wallowing in it to proactively improving the situation.
It’s amazing how even one person can shift the dynamics of the relationship when they decide to strengthen this dimension of marriage and engage in more effective interaction with their spouse. Although some sexual incompatibility may be inherent in marriage, I hope couple will be encouraged to take the necessary steps to increase their sexual connection and enjoyment of this vital dimension of marriage.
Tuesday, 28 June 2011
Monday, 27 June 2011
The Power Of Behavior In Relationship.
Our behavior has the power to either bring people closer to us or push them away. Consider for a moment the people in your life: your family, friends and intimate partnerships. What is the quality of relationship you have with them?
Are there people in your life who are behaving in a way towards you that causes distress, sadness, confusion or anger? Is there not a shared of evidence to support the possibility that they take responsibility for this and /or willing to make changes for the sake of the relationship? Ask yourself whether this works for you.
On the flip side. Do you have a trail of destroyed relationships behind you? Do you put up walls or other blocks to intimacy and human connection? Are you giving out what you want back? Are you authentic with others or presenting a mask of what you are? Ask yourself if the end result of this has brought you joy or emptiness?
Behavior That Draws Others In:
1. Eye contact
2. Listening
3. Kindness
4. Reliability
5. Physical Touch
Behavior That Pushes Others Away:
1. Dismissiveness
2. Inconsistency
3. Criticism
4. Dishonesty
5. Arrogance
Many people don’t understand the power of behavior to hurt others, that they have a choice not to accept another’s damaging behavior or a choice to put an end to theirs. Our behavior shapes the quality of our relationships so it’s an important element to consider.
There are many reasons why people behave in the way they do including relationships (family of origin), defense mechanisms, how one feels about themselves and general lack of awareness. The important thing is that everyone is responsible for their actions, regardless of “why” they might behave the way they do.
Are there people in your life who are behaving in a way towards you that causes distress, sadness, confusion or anger? Is there not a shared of evidence to support the possibility that they take responsibility for this and /or willing to make changes for the sake of the relationship? Ask yourself whether this works for you.
On the flip side. Do you have a trail of destroyed relationships behind you? Do you put up walls or other blocks to intimacy and human connection? Are you giving out what you want back? Are you authentic with others or presenting a mask of what you are? Ask yourself if the end result of this has brought you joy or emptiness?
Behavior That Draws Others In:
1. Eye contact
2. Listening
3. Kindness
4. Reliability
5. Physical Touch
Behavior That Pushes Others Away:
1. Dismissiveness
2. Inconsistency
3. Criticism
4. Dishonesty
5. Arrogance
Many people don’t understand the power of behavior to hurt others, that they have a choice not to accept another’s damaging behavior or a choice to put an end to theirs. Our behavior shapes the quality of our relationships so it’s an important element to consider.
There are many reasons why people behave in the way they do including relationships (family of origin), defense mechanisms, how one feels about themselves and general lack of awareness. The important thing is that everyone is responsible for their actions, regardless of “why” they might behave the way they do.
Tuesday, 21 June 2011
HOW TO MAKE YOUR HUSBAND HAPPY In 15 WAYS
Open proverb 31:11-12,23: read it to him.
1.Pray and make supplications for him, committing his career, dreams and aspirations to God.
2.Tell him what you like or admire in him and praise God for his good qualities.
3.Give him a full dose of tender loving care.
4.Visit him in the office.
5.Prepare and serve him his favorite dish in such a way that he would think it ungodly to eat outside.
6.Let him have his way on decision involving you in your offfice.
7.Tell him you cherish and love him very dearly.
8.Show him your last shopping list and the price of each item you bought.
9.Plan the next weekend menu with him and present it for his approval.
10.Seek for his appraisal of your child training and ask for suggestions from him.
11.Is it unhappy due to workload in the office or due to circumstances, try and encourage him, share his pains, burden and be a wise counselor.
12.Is there a spill over of work brought home? Lend him a helping hand, maybe by keeping the children from disturbing daddy.
13.Surprise him with gifts.
14.Is he not measuring up to your expectation? Don’t nag him. Pray that God we him a man of your dream.
15.Fasts and pray that God we bless your Dear husband.
1.Pray and make supplications for him, committing his career, dreams and aspirations to God.
2.Tell him what you like or admire in him and praise God for his good qualities.
3.Give him a full dose of tender loving care.
4.Visit him in the office.
5.Prepare and serve him his favorite dish in such a way that he would think it ungodly to eat outside.
6.Let him have his way on decision involving you in your offfice.
7.Tell him you cherish and love him very dearly.
8.Show him your last shopping list and the price of each item you bought.
9.Plan the next weekend menu with him and present it for his approval.
10.Seek for his appraisal of your child training and ask for suggestions from him.
11.Is it unhappy due to workload in the office or due to circumstances, try and encourage him, share his pains, burden and be a wise counselor.
12.Is there a spill over of work brought home? Lend him a helping hand, maybe by keeping the children from disturbing daddy.
13.Surprise him with gifts.
14.Is he not measuring up to your expectation? Don’t nag him. Pray that God we him a man of your dream.
15.Fasts and pray that God we bless your Dear husband.
Tuesday, 7 June 2011
10 SecretsTips On How To Get Your Man Committed.
You’ve been seeing a man who loves you, whether he uses the word or not. He loves sex with you, but more than that; he loves being with you. Even so, he hasn’t committed himself to you fully. Maybe he hasn’t asked out to marry him, though you’ve been seeing each other steadily or living together for a long time. Is there anything you can do to help him take the step that will bring ultimate happiness to both of you. The answer is “yes,” and the solutions are simple, easy adjustment that will cost you nothing and will end up bringing the fulfillment and commitment you’ve dreamed of.
1. Make it easy for him to confide in you by listening without giving him advice or criticizing him.
He needs to know that it’s safe to tell you more. And the more he tells you, the more committed he will become.
2. Make your man feel special by showing him that you love him for himself alone.
Early in the relationship, avoid asking him these questions “How much do you make?” “Did you go to college?” “Where?” “Where you ever married?” “For how long?” “What do your parents do for a living?”. These questions suggest that you are sizing him up and deciding if he is a good risk as a potential husband. Remember, even if he turns out to be a billionaire, he needs to know that you liked him before you knew that fact.
3. Try to be natural. Be yourself and don’t conceal your tastes or the things you like.
If your new man says that he like rap music and rattles off some names of people you’ve never heard of, don’t pretend that you know them and like them. You’re allowed to say that you don’t know anything about that kind of music. If you have always loved opera, say so. If you feel like crying at a movie, cry. If you feel like laughing, laugh. Be natural will encourage him to be the same.
4. Give your man the sense that he can keep his freedom at least to a reasonable degree.
5. Don’t let him do too much for you or spend too much (even if he volunteers)
If the balance goes too far this way, he will wake up some morning and ask himself, “what am I getting into?” He will want to swing the pendulum the other way, which will be bad news for you. Early in the relationship, he may reaffirm his sense of maleness by fixing everything in your house, and you may feel taken care of. But don’t let him go too far. If you can easily pay for something to get done, or if someone else can do part of the job, don’t overburden your man. Make it simple for him to commit to you by letting him know that his spending big bucks is purely optional.
6. Don’t make your man jealous as a device to build his interest in you.
The old wisdom said that playing hard to get might clinch the commitment deal. But I’m telling you that the opposite is true. Because of their masculine pretense, men are crazy on the subject of loyalty. Most men, no matter what they say, are very insecure about their sexual desirability and about their appeal.
7. Insist On sexual fidelity once you feel you need it.
Some women feel that their guy will get nervous if they demand monogamy. Once again, the opposite is true. Your man wants you to want only him. He will be secretly flattered and will start to feel very secure if you demand his arrangement. Your telling him that his sexual faithfulness is essential to you is, in effect, giving him the reassurance that you intend to be faithful to him. Even if your man protests or acts as if the request is silly, he will breathe a big sigh of relief and take one big step towards commitment.
8. Help your man to accept the fact that he needs you and loves you.
Because of his masculine pretense, your man is afraid to admit to anyone – even himself, how much he needs you. But this isn’t his fault. He hasn’t had any practice at expressing his emotions freely. You can make him feel free to do so. And once again the key is to ask for something. After a time, insist that your man tell you in so many words that he loves you. Even if you are living together, he may try to avoid to those little three words. “Isn’t it obvious?” he may say. “Why else would I be with you?” or he may substitute something, like a compliment. “I think you’re the most beautiful woman I ever knew.” This is not good enough. Tell him, “I need you to say that you love me even if it’s obvious. And if it’s obvious, why not say it?” Only after saying that he loves you, in those words, and after saying it repeatedly, will your man truly accept that he loves you. Only then will it become a fact of life.
9. After a few months, insist that your man introduce you to his family and friends and to anyone important in his life.
His doing this is a very basic kind of commitment for him, an important step on the road to a lifetime commitment. The man who won’t bring you to his life won’t marry you. A man must see you interacting with the people important to him to think of you as a wife. His making you part of his social life (just like his saying, “I love you,”) is an important rung on the ladder that he must climb toward commitment.
10. Guard against giving your man more than you really want to over a long period of time.
If you like certain sex acts, make sure you communicate what they are and make sure that you get your share. If you feel angry at the fact that he invites his buddies over at the last minute and doesn’t pitch in with the preparation, don’t make a habit of compliance. If you’re not getting enough of what you want and find yourself feeling angry or depressed, it’s not fair to you. Also, you will definitely communicate this and your man will move away from commitment. Why should he sign up for life with a woman who’s unhappy or unfulfilled? In taking care of yourself, you are taking care of the relationship.
1. Make it easy for him to confide in you by listening without giving him advice or criticizing him.
He needs to know that it’s safe to tell you more. And the more he tells you, the more committed he will become.
2. Make your man feel special by showing him that you love him for himself alone.
Early in the relationship, avoid asking him these questions “How much do you make?” “Did you go to college?” “Where?” “Where you ever married?” “For how long?” “What do your parents do for a living?”. These questions suggest that you are sizing him up and deciding if he is a good risk as a potential husband. Remember, even if he turns out to be a billionaire, he needs to know that you liked him before you knew that fact.
3. Try to be natural. Be yourself and don’t conceal your tastes or the things you like.
If your new man says that he like rap music and rattles off some names of people you’ve never heard of, don’t pretend that you know them and like them. You’re allowed to say that you don’t know anything about that kind of music. If you have always loved opera, say so. If you feel like crying at a movie, cry. If you feel like laughing, laugh. Be natural will encourage him to be the same.
4. Give your man the sense that he can keep his freedom at least to a reasonable degree.
5. Don’t let him do too much for you or spend too much (even if he volunteers)
If the balance goes too far this way, he will wake up some morning and ask himself, “what am I getting into?” He will want to swing the pendulum the other way, which will be bad news for you. Early in the relationship, he may reaffirm his sense of maleness by fixing everything in your house, and you may feel taken care of. But don’t let him go too far. If you can easily pay for something to get done, or if someone else can do part of the job, don’t overburden your man. Make it simple for him to commit to you by letting him know that his spending big bucks is purely optional.
6. Don’t make your man jealous as a device to build his interest in you.
The old wisdom said that playing hard to get might clinch the commitment deal. But I’m telling you that the opposite is true. Because of their masculine pretense, men are crazy on the subject of loyalty. Most men, no matter what they say, are very insecure about their sexual desirability and about their appeal.
7. Insist On sexual fidelity once you feel you need it.
Some women feel that their guy will get nervous if they demand monogamy. Once again, the opposite is true. Your man wants you to want only him. He will be secretly flattered and will start to feel very secure if you demand his arrangement. Your telling him that his sexual faithfulness is essential to you is, in effect, giving him the reassurance that you intend to be faithful to him. Even if your man protests or acts as if the request is silly, he will breathe a big sigh of relief and take one big step towards commitment.
8. Help your man to accept the fact that he needs you and loves you.
Because of his masculine pretense, your man is afraid to admit to anyone – even himself, how much he needs you. But this isn’t his fault. He hasn’t had any practice at expressing his emotions freely. You can make him feel free to do so. And once again the key is to ask for something. After a time, insist that your man tell you in so many words that he loves you. Even if you are living together, he may try to avoid to those little three words. “Isn’t it obvious?” he may say. “Why else would I be with you?” or he may substitute something, like a compliment. “I think you’re the most beautiful woman I ever knew.” This is not good enough. Tell him, “I need you to say that you love me even if it’s obvious. And if it’s obvious, why not say it?” Only after saying that he loves you, in those words, and after saying it repeatedly, will your man truly accept that he loves you. Only then will it become a fact of life.
9. After a few months, insist that your man introduce you to his family and friends and to anyone important in his life.
His doing this is a very basic kind of commitment for him, an important step on the road to a lifetime commitment. The man who won’t bring you to his life won’t marry you. A man must see you interacting with the people important to him to think of you as a wife. His making you part of his social life (just like his saying, “I love you,”) is an important rung on the ladder that he must climb toward commitment.
10. Guard against giving your man more than you really want to over a long period of time.
If you like certain sex acts, make sure you communicate what they are and make sure that you get your share. If you feel angry at the fact that he invites his buddies over at the last minute and doesn’t pitch in with the preparation, don’t make a habit of compliance. If you’re not getting enough of what you want and find yourself feeling angry or depressed, it’s not fair to you. Also, you will definitely communicate this and your man will move away from commitment. Why should he sign up for life with a woman who’s unhappy or unfulfilled? In taking care of yourself, you are taking care of the relationship.
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