Our behavior has the power to either bring people closer to us or push them away. Consider for a moment the people in your life: your family, friends and intimate partnerships. What is the quality of relationship you have with them?
Are there people in your life who are behaving in a way towards you that causes distress, sadness, confusion or anger? Is there not a shared of evidence to support the possibility that they take responsibility for this and /or willing to make changes for the sake of the relationship? Ask yourself whether this works for you.
On the flip side. Do you have a trail of destroyed relationships behind you? Do you put up walls or other blocks to intimacy and human connection? Are you giving out what you want back? Are you authentic with others or presenting a mask of what you are? Ask yourself if the end result of this has brought you joy or emptiness?
Behavior That Draws Others In:
1. Eye contact
2. Listening
3. Kindness
4. Reliability
5. Physical Touch
Behavior That Pushes Others Away:
1. Dismissiveness
2. Inconsistency
3. Criticism
4. Dishonesty
5. Arrogance
Many people don’t understand the power of behavior to hurt others, that they have a choice not to accept another’s damaging behavior or a choice to put an end to theirs. Our behavior shapes the quality of our relationships so it’s an important element to consider.
There are many reasons why people behave in the way they do including relationships (family of origin), defense mechanisms, how one feels about themselves and general lack of awareness. The important thing is that everyone is responsible for their actions, regardless of “why” they might behave the way they do.
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